No one could have prepared me for the transformation that motherhood would bring. I envisioned being the type of mom who would bring their child to the crag or carry them on hikes before they could walk. I never expected that stepping into my identity as a mother would mean stepping out of my identity as an adventurer. I had just discovered the outdoors, and before I knew it, everything I had grown to love felt so impossibly out of reach again.
The beginnings of a challenging matrescense
With my first daughter being born during the pandemic, a cross-country move, becoming a mom of twins, and then the exhausting medical mystery of recurrent pneumonias that would hospitalize my twins, the past six years have been relentless. All the joys of my adventurous life: my life in LA, where I explored the Sierras at least once a month, the daily climbing sessions at the gym down the street, the adventure friends who were always planning something, even my nursing career, which was a little type 2 fun in itself, all disappeared amidst the chaos.
I transformed into this mama bear that was solely focused on the needs of her babies. And while I have no complaints because that was needed to survive, I still craved that sense of adventure and mourned the life I once lived. There were so many attempts to try to find pieces of myself, only to have another hospitalization or the anxiety of another hospitalization hinder the plans.
I tried my best to share that sense of adventure with my children and managed to do multiple road trips as far as Texas and Colorado. While I am extremely proud of their resilience and the joy my kids get from the many surprises that come along with traveling, what I’ve truly missed since becoming a mom is all the things that got me hooked on the outdoors to begin with. I missed being in nature as a reprieve from my daily life and having a chance to sort out my thoughts. I missed training towards a goal. I missed the long summit pushes that make you find your limit. I missed having to be mentally locked in. And I missed having my community of women to share all those experiences with me.
My biggest “why”
Motherhood has torn me down at times, but it has also made me stronger. It’s given me my biggest “why.” Beyond the selfish reasons of doing hard things because I like them, I’m constantly aware that I always have three sets of eyes watching me. I remind my daughters that they can do hard things, not just by telling them, but by showing them through my example.
Since the day I learned that I was pregnant, I made myself a promise that I cannot let my children become the reason for me losing myself; instead, they will always be the reason I push to find the best version of myself. I knew I would get back out there in time, I’m just (im)patiently waiting for the chance.
A New Challenge
In the Spring of 2025, life was in a season of good health for everyone. I started to go to physical therapy to address pelvic pain that I had been experiencing for 10+ years. It was my first step towards self-care and becoming the best version of myself. I committed to doing my PT exercises and felt noticeably stronger week to week. I started to hike more.
The pain I had become so used to living with was finally gone! But all it took was one day of scrambling to bring back all of my pain, as if the previous months of work never happened.
After an orthopedic referral and MRI, I was diagnosed with a hip labrum tear and femoroacetabular impingement. I had surgery in December 2025 to repair it. I was told I’d be on crutches for three weeks, unable to drive for at least four weeks, and would hopefully return to hiking in six months. So much for “becoming the best version of myself.”
From surgery to The 50k Sisterhood
I kid you not, the night my hip had just been repaired, I came across the Instagram post by The Cairn Project talking about the 50k Sisterhood, an initiative to get 15 women who have no experience running ultramarathons to run their first 50k together. The Cairn Project would offer all the support that was needed, from gear to nutrition coaching to training plans. The first paragraph of their website reads:
“Maybe you’ve thought about running an ultra, but told yourself:
- “I don’t know if I can run that far.”
- “I don’t know how to start training.”
- “I’m not fast enough.”
- “I don’t see women like me doing this.”
- “There isn’t anyone to train with.”
We hear you. And the First 50k Sisterhood exists to remove those barriers.”
It was like they were speaking to me! I’ve never identified as a runner, definitely not after my embarrassing 14:14 mile during my physical fitness test in high school. I’ve always loved the idea of ultrarunning, but seeing that I wasn’t someone who could run far, I thought I would go for elevation instead and fell into mountaineering, where going slow was preferred. Getting gear, training, and the community of other women to run our first 50k?!?! It was the perfect opportunity!
I’ve had all of my “whys,” but there was the biggest, most obvious “why not” glaring at me: you just had hip surgery. There is no way you can run 31 miles in 7 months… But I was feeling on top of the world post surgery, and there was no shame in trying, so I applied anyway.
“You’ve been selected!”
To my surprise, in a little over a month, I received an email saying I was selected… and I panicked! My recovery had been going well, but I was in no position to run! At that point, I couldn’t even walk without having to actively keep myself from limping.
I scoured Reddit for other people’s return to running experiences after labrum repairs, and there were no success stories to this degree. I found someone who ran a marathon a year later, and even then, the comments were filled with surprise and admiration. Waiting another year or two seemed like the logical, feasible goal, but I didn’t want to wait another year or two. I finally had a chance at doing something for myself. The chance to strive for a goal that I felt inspired by. And to be able to do this with 14 other women at the only all-women’s 50k in the country– I had to at least try!
I sent a response to Angie, Community Manager of The Cairn Project, explaining my situation, and she assured me that the spot was mine as long as I could actively participate in group experiences. I also cleared it with my surgeon, who said that this was a “tall task,” but wouldn’t cause injury to my hip as long as I follow cues from my body. At that point, I was all in!
When reality and self-doubt set in
Being completely honest, I was still filled with self-doubt. I spent countless hours late at night searching for someone on Reddit who had attempted such a feat to help guide my training. I wanted a glimmer of hope that this was possible, and every time I looked and couldn’t find one, I felt like I was wasting everyone’s time.
As the other ladies were starting to log their runs, I was still walking on the treadmill or using the stairmaster. I still had at least another six weeks before I’d be medically cleared to begin to incorporate jogging into my recovery plan. I’d fluctuate from moments of calm, where I’m telling myself that I can just walk the whole ultra if needed, to moments of anxiety where I’m worried about all the comments if I were ridiculously slow. Maybe I could then DNF (Did Not Finish) instead? Or what if I get reinjured? I could just hear the comments saying that I had it coming, criticizing my poor judgment.
Success before the starting line
My turning point came in March 2026, when my 5-year-old was about to compete in her first karate tournament. She is a natural when it comes to performance arts and karate. When she steps into the spotlight, it’s like an alter ego comes out, fully present and confident. But outside of the spotlight, she struggles with social anxiety and lack of confidence to the point where it has been debilitating. Like I do before every class, I reminded her before the tournament, “There’s no such thing as failing if you try.”
I’ve said it to her thousands of times before, but when I saw her doing her kata in the ring with the judges and spectators watching her every move, it actually clicked for me. Her score and the standings, none of that mattered. Her journey is unique to her, and the biggest challenge she faces is showing up and managing her anxiety, both of which she has already done to the best of her ability. Regardless of the outcome, she had already won in my eyes. She was leaving that tournament a better version of herself simply by showing up and trying.
It was then that I let go of the fear of somehow “failing” or being judged for my decision to commit to a 50k if things don’t go as planned. I started to follow my own advice, and realized that this was my journey and so much more to me than running a 50k distance. I stopped trying to rush the healing process, started to really listen to my body, and trust the expertise of my physical therapist. I stopped comparing myself to others, and felt the pressure lift as I started to enjoy the process of training. I stuck with the plan of walking on the treadmill and using the stairmaster until I was cleared to run, modifying the training plan to meet my needs. Now, I’m happy to report that I am on track with the training plan.
I would not be where I am in my recovery if it weren’t for this 50k Sisterhood. I wouldn’t be going out for leisurely 5k runs or running at all. My daughters wouldn’t be taking part in a weekly running program. I wouldn’t have found that pre-motherhood version of myself, where I’m excited to chase my goals. I wouldn’t be prioritizing my self-care. There have been so many positive outcomes just by committing to this goal, where failure is already out the window. My race may be in a month, but regardless of the result, I already see it as a success. It all started with a crazy goal that meant something to me and putting my best foot forward.
So what goal would you start chasing if in the mere act of trying, you’ve already succeeded in being a better version of yourself?
The First 50k Sisterhood is a cohort of 15 women running their first ultramarathon at Wild Woman Trail Runs in June 2026. They’ll share their stories through training, racing, fueling and beyond, all while fundraising $15,000+ for future outdoor sports scholarships for girls and women.
First 50k Sisterhood is honored to have support from:
- Microcosm Coaching’s training plan and ongoing coaching
- LOWA’s high quality footwear
- Kelly Fuson’s mindset and performance coaching
- Tailwind Nutrition fuel to power the miles
- Run Slick anti-chafe to run longer without pain
- Pen and Paces custom bibs to celebrate race day
Tiffany Diep
I am a pediatric nurse turned stay at home mom. I once defined myself as a hiker, wannabe mountaineer, and novice rock climber, but life looks very different now that my days are centered around my three daughters. I look forward to being a part of the Sisterhood to finally quiet the voice in my head that always said I was too slow to be a runner. I love finding new ways to adventure outside and hope to add ultrarunning as a way of exploring new areas.